I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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