he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
