we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
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