I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
