There was a lot of him and a little penis
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
