the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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