i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Come see our sink grown plant.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize