I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Found the puke drawer
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
