we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
