I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
