He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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