Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
how can u be prego again
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
