how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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