Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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