sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
