TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
