The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
