He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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