so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
