So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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