ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
