Whod you bang
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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