you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
