if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
