I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
