I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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