i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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