Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
