He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
