I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
