im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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