BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize