he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
