He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
