I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
