I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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