I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize