That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
