Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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