Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
