When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
