it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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