i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Houston, we have a squirter
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
