I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
