what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
