Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
