Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
