Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
