Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
