he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
