hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
