is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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