and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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