Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize