Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
