When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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