i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
