have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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