Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so let's talk penis.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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