Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
