I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
