there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The best revenge is premature balding
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize